Best Jokes

Did you hear about the professional golfer who got arrested for assaulting his chauffeur?

All he did was take out his driver.

I had an uncle who drank a lot...

When he died, he was cremated.

He burned for two days.

To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."

My brother spent all of the “fun money” our parents had allotted halfway through his first semester at college.

He sent this text to our dad: Dear dad, no mon, no fun, your son.

Our dad replied with: Dear son, too bad, so sad, your dad.