Best Jokes

The Feron psychiatric hospital was also a teaching and research institute. Today marked the first day of a new semester. After the students arrived in class, Professor McDoogle introduced herself. She then said, "Please take out a blank sheet of paper and write down you’re deepest thoughts concerning this question: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

The students seemed to be rather puzzled and some even started to giggle a little bit. This was swiftly ended by a stern word from the teacher explaining this paper would result in a third of their grade. She went on to say it may be the most important object lesson they’ll ever learn during their education process. Realizing this was serious and must hold profound meaning far beyond the questions exterior. At this the students began to bare down and search for a solution with great veracity.

Forty five minutes later the students were producing pages of written dialog. Each thought seemed to pose deeper and more complex avenues of discovery as their quest intensified in epic proportion. Just then an orderly poked his head into the classroom.

"There you are, Mrs. McDoogle, we’ve been worried about you. I see you’ve been switching class room numbers again!"

A woman made an appointment with a divorce attorney. The first thing he asked was why she wanted a divorce. She replied, "I’m not appreciated anymore and my husband even tells me I’m not a good house keeper."

The attorney replied, "Oh don’t worry, you’ll keep the house."

Definition of Clothes Dryer: An appliance designed to eat socks.

When the actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye!