Best Jokes

A guy asked his very good friend if you could stop over to his place and spend a little time working on his computer.

His friend agreed and turned the system on. When he turned on the PC he had an unpleasant surprise.

He asked: ”Why is the display completely black?”

His friend answered: ”The PC is mourning his video card...”

Teacher: If today is Christmas Eve, what is the day after Christmas?

A student quickly replied, Christmas Adam!

At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax.

One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?"

"Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was
on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if
she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole,and
you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her
and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady
again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole
behind me, so you must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her.

He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady
sitting at the end of the bar. He went up to her and said, "Let me buy
you a drink to show my appreciation for your help."

He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did. She
said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what
she sold.

She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh." "No, I wouldn't,"
he said. She said, "I sell tampons." With that he fell on the floor
laughing so hard. She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at,"he replied. "I'm a toilet paper
salesman, so I'm STILL one hole behind you!".