Best Jokes

The young man comes running into the store and says to his buddy, "Tommy, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!'

Tommy reacts, "Did you see who it was?"

The young man answers, "No, I couldn't tell... but I did get his license plate number!"

A high school girl, seated next to a famous astronomer at a dinner party, struck up a conversation with him by asking, “What do you do in life?”

He replied, “I study astronomy.”

“Dear me,” said the girl. “I finished astronomy last year.”

Reporter interviewing a 105-year-old lady....

"What is the best thing about being 105?" the reporter asked.

The old lady replied, "No peer pressure."

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.

"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!"