Best Jokes

Why do you never see an elephant up a tree?

Because they are really good at it.

A woman was following her boyfriend home in her car when he hit a rabbit in the road. He stopped the car and saw the rabbit lying prone in the road. He felt terrible.

His girlfriend assessed the situation and dug into her purse and sprayed the rabbit who quickly jumped up hopped a few feet and turned and waved one of his front paws.

The boyfriend said what did you spray him with? She said my hair spray it says on the label:

REVIVES DEAD HAIR (hare) GIVES PERMANENT WAVE

Gracie was driving down the road in her pickup truck when she spotted a blonde sitting in a canoe in the middle a corn field. She slammed on her brakes and swerved into the corn field.

Pulling up beside the blonde, she rolled down her window and shouted, "Hey! What do you think you're doing?!?"

The blonde in the canoe looked at her, confused and said, "Well, I'm just out enjoying the sun in my canoe."

Gracie was fuming. She yelled back, "Why are you out in the middle of the cornfield!?!"

"Well, it seemed like a great day to be in the wide open," the blonde replied.

"You know," Gracie said, "It's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your butt!"

A Mitochondrion walks into a bar and asks for some energy.

The barman says: "That'll be 80p!"