There's this old lady at a supermarket. She goes to the produce section. She's rummaging around for a while. Then the Produce Manager sees this and starts talking to her.
Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am?
Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli.
Produce Manager: We're out of broccoli at the moment.
The old lady starts rummaging again.
Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am?
Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli.
Produce Manager: I just told you that we don't have any at the moment.
The old lady begins rummaging again.
Produce Manager: Can I help you ma'am?
Old Lady: I'm trying to find some broccoli.
Produce Manager: Is there straw in strawberry?
Old Lady: Yes.
Produce Manager: Is there van in vanilla?
Old Lady: Yes.
Produce Manager: Is there freak in broccoli?
Old Lady: There's no freak in broccoli!
Produce Manager: That's what I've been trying to tell you!!!
Yo' momma so old that her social security number is 000-00-0001!
A man working with an electric saw accidentally cuts off all of his fingers. At the emergency room, his doctor says, "Give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."
The injured man replies, "But I don't have the fingers!"
"Why didn't you bring them?" the doctor asks.
The injured man responds, "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife?
A: Meet Patty.