A farmer was coming home from a hard day’s work, tired, thirsty and almost dehydrated. He stopped at a nearby house and asked for water.
A little boy who was home alone offered him lemonade instead of water. The more he drank, the more the boy told him he could have. He asked the boy if he was sure his mother would be pleased that he drank so much.
The boy replied, “You can have as much as you want because my dog died in it.”
Shocked and angry the man lifted the pitcher intending to use it to hit the boy who then shouted, "Oh no! No! Be careful or you'll break my mother’s bedpan!”
How did the chicken cross the road?
On a wing and a prayer.
A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 girls and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.”
She immediately replies, “The one on the right.”
“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”
The mother replies, “I don’t like her."
A boy's grandma doesn't like eating her medicine. So the boy goes to the doctor and asked what he can do. The doctor tells him a trick. Put the medicine in the middle of some sweets!
So the boy buys some sweets and puts medicine in them. When he gets home he give them to Grandma to eat. After eating her sweets the Grandson told his Grandma, “I am very happy to see that you have eaten all the sweets.”
Grandma replied, “Yes I ate all my sweets but I didn’t like the seeds inside them so I removed them before eating my sweets.”