Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a bus.
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
A son of two parents found out a way to get money from almost anyone. He first went up to his mom said, "I know your secret." She said, "Here is 20 bucks, don't tell anyone."
He then went up to his dad and said, "I know your secret." He said, "Here is 20 bucks, don't tell anyone."
He saw the mailman and ran up to him and said, "I know your secret." The mailman said, "Here is 20 bucks, now get in the truck, son."
On his deathbed barely able to breathe, Edward smelled the aroma of freshly baked brownies. He always had a passion for this confection and thought to himself, "If I could just have one more brownie I could die in peace!"
He called to his wife but his voice was so frail she couldn't hear him. Not getting an answer, he slid out of the bed and onto the floor, then dragged himself across the room and out into the hallway.
Down the hall and down the stairs he slowly moved, crawling hand over hand closer to that heavenly smell. At the bottom of the stairs he pulled himself along painfully—hand over hand closer to that delicious aroma. He continued—through the living room, across the dining room, and finally up into his chair at the dining table. He reached across the table and grabbed the tray of freshly baked brownies.
But as Edward dragged the tray toward himself it made a scraping noise, and suddenly he heard his wife yell from the kitchen, "Don't touch the brownies, they're for the funeral!"
A Pastor goes to a nursing home for the first time to visit an elderly parishioner. As he is sitting there, he notices a bowl of peanuts beside her bed and takes one. As they continue their conversation, he can't help himself and eats one after another. By the time they are through visiting, the bowl is empty. He says, "Mrs. Jones, I'm so sorry, but I seem to have eaten all of your peanuts."
"That's okay," she says. "They would have just sat there anyway. Without my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off and put them back in the bowl."