Latest Jokes

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Once you start playing with software you quickly become aware that each
software package has a revision code attached to it. It is obvious that
this revision code gives the sequence of changes to the product, but in
reality there's substantially more information available through the rev
code than that. This is a guide for interpreting the meaning of the
revision codes and what they actually signify.

1.0: Also known as "one point uh-oh", or "barely out of beta". We had
to release because the lab guys had reached a point of exhaustion and
the marketing guys were in a cold sweat of terror. We're praying that
you'll find it more functional than, say, a computer virus and that its
operation has some resemblance to that specified in the marketing copy.

1.1: We fixed all the killer bugs...

1.2: Uh, we introduced a few new bugs fixing the killer bugs and so we
had to fix them, too.

2.0: We did the product we really wanted to do to begin with. Mind you,
it's really not what the customer needs yet, but we're working on it.

2.1: Well, not surprisingly, we broke some things in making major
changes so we had to fix them. But we did a really good job of testing
this time, so we don't think we introduced any new bugs while we were
fixing these bugs.

2.2: Uh, sorry, one slipped through. One lousy typo error and you won't
believe how much trouble it caused!

2.3: Some jerk found a deep-seated bug that's been there since 1.0 and
wouldn't stop nagging until we fixed it!!

3.0: Hey, we finally think we've got it right! Most of the customers
are really happy with this.

3.1: Of course, we did break a few little things.

4.0: More features. It's doubled in size now, by the way, and you'll
need to get more memory and a faster processor ...

4.1: Just one or two bugs this time ... Honest!

5.0: We really need to go on to a new product, but we have an installed
base out there to protect. We're cutting the staffing after this.

6.0: We had to fix a few things we broke in 5.0. Not very many, but
it's been so long since we looked at this thing we might as well call it
a major upgrade. Oh, yeah, we added a few flashy cosmetic features so we
could justify the major upgrade number.

6.1: Since I'm leaving the company and I'm the last guy left in the lab
who works on the product, I wanted to make sure that all the changes
I've made are incorporated before I go. I added some cute demos, too,
since I was getting pretty bored back here in my dark little corner (I
kept complaining about the lighting but they wouldn't do anything).
They're talking about obsolescence planning but they'll try to keep
selling it for as long as there's a buck or two to be made. I'm leaving
the bits in as good a shape as I can in case somebody has to tweak them,
but it'll be sheer luck if no one loses them.

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CATEGORY Computer Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
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A Texan walks in to a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. Ill give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texans offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me asking, where did you go for those 30 minutes you were gone?"

The Irishman replies, "Oh, I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

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posted by "HENNE" |
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What goes Mu-Mu?

A cow that studders.

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CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Jonathan Alan Miller" |
1 votes

My wife told me that I did not love any of her relatives...

I told her that is not true. I said, "I love your mother-in-law and father-in-law much more than I love mine."

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CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Kanhaiya Lal Mahajan" |