Latest Jokes

0 votes

A Lady is driving for the first time on an expressway.

Her husband calls on her cell and says, " Be careful my love, I just heard on the radio, that some one is driving opposite to the traffic on the expressway!"

She replied, "Someone...? These rascals are in Hundreds!".

0 votes

posted by "lolismyname" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

This past Sunday Mary Ellen and Elisabeth went to the 10:30 AM service and the new pastor was long winded and his sermon was quite long.

After the service was finally over, Mary Ellen said to Elisabeth, "The sermon was beautiful don't you think?".

Elisabeth replied "Oh yes it was, but a bit too long. Next week I'm bringing my cushion to sit on, these benches are too hard."

She continued to say, "You know Mary Ellen at one point during the sermon I thought my butt went to sleep."

Mary Ellen said, "I know, I heard it snore three times."

4 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Mr Nice Guy" |
1 votes

I had an appointment with my cardiologist yesterday and on his door it read 8 to 5.

I left immediately!


I have to have better odds than that.

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Mr Nice Guy" |
0 votes

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was
on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if
she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole,and
you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her
and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady
again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole
behind me, so you must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her.

He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady
sitting at the end of the bar. He went up to her and said, "Let me buy
you a drink to show my appreciation for your help."

He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did. She
said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what
she sold.

She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh." "No, I wouldn't,"
he said. She said, "I sell tampons." With that he fell on the floor
laughing so hard. She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at,"he replied. "I'm a toilet paper
salesman, so I'm STILL one hole behind you!".

0 votes

posted by "HENNE" |