Why can't cats use computers?
Because they only want to chase the mouse.
What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his school examination?
"Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing!"
A cruise ship full of Mother-in-Laws was heading towards Hawaii for a week when their ship capsized killing everyone. Their families cried for a for a whole week. But after 3 weeks one man was still crying, so the people asked him what was wrong? Why are you still crying? The man replies, "My Mother-in-Law missed the darn boat!
Did you hear about the dumb guy who bought "Math for Dummies" at Barnes & Noble for $19.99?
He gave the clerk a $100.00 bill and received a $1.00 bill back as his change.