Latest Jokes

$7.00 won 2 votes
 

Norma and Sonia were talking about their grandchildren after the holidays. Norma said, "My daughter-in-law stopped making my grandchildren send their 'thank you' notes. Each year I sent the grandchildren a card with a generous check inside. I always received a lovely `thank you' note. However, since my daughter-in-law stopped making the grandkids send thank you notes, I never hear from them."

Sonia said, "My daughter-in-law never made the grandchildren send `thank you' notes. I too send them a very generous check. However, for the past several years, I hear from them within a week after they receive it. In fact, they each pay me a personal visit."

"Wow," remarked Norma. "I wish mine would do that."

"You can, Norma, you can."

"How?" Norma asked

"Simple. Do what I do. Don't sign the check."

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

In every Human Resources report, there is a reason for termination. There are so many possibilities, that we have narrowed the list down to Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs:

Happy: Had trouble putting nose to the grindstone. Too much time spent telling jokes at the water cooler.

Doc: Left to pursue further schooling, in particular, Ph.D. work.

Sleepy: Chronically late for work. Caused many project delays.

Grumpy: Poor attitude toward work. Not a team player. Trouble with early mornings.

Dopey: Made several critical errors at work costing the company money, e.g., misappropriated company funds.

Sneezy: Recurrent, chronic illness has made it difficult for the employee to complete work in a timely fashion.

Bashful: Lack of initiative. Not willing to make cold calls. Too often let workplace disagreements simmer.

Jealous Queen: Heavy involvement in the occult not congruent with organizational policies.

Snow White: Misconduct, e.g., kissing strange men while under some kind of trance.

3 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "merk" |
$9.00 won 3 votes

Where do you find lost silverware?

Answer: At the fork in the road.

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Marty" |
0 votes

Why do husbands die before their wives?

Answer: They want to.

0 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Jareth the Goblin King" |