When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, covered in bee stings and smelling like honey...
You know she's a keeper!
Whoever lost their iPhone outside the bar...
Please stop ringing my new phone!
I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order.
I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
I made a playlist for hiking. it has music from The Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.