marriage jokes

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America...

The rest cheat in Europe.

Your dog's barking at the back door. Your spouse's barking at the front. Who do you let in?

Well, it's your call, but the dog'll stop barking when you let him in.

A reporter asked a man how he felt when he found out that he won the lottery.

“As soon I saw the numbers line up, I knew it was going to be wife changing!”

I was on family leave, spending my days caring for my two-year-old son while pregnant with my second. To kill some time, I began watching the Game Show Network, and I got hooked. One afternoon my husband came home from work to find the house in complete disarray and I plopped in front of the TV. "So that's what you do while I'm at work?" he said smirking.

"I just happened to have it on," I lied.

The next day we were watching the President give a speech. As he stepped out of his car and waved to his cheering supporters, my son shouted, "Look, Mommy, he won the car!"