marriage jokes

A woman walks into a police precinct and reports that her husband is missing. When the Sargent asked her how long her husband’s been missing she says, “Since last winter.”

Astonished, the Sargent asked, “Why did you wait till spring to report him missing?”

The woman replies, “Because the landscaping company is asking too much money to mow the lawn.”

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America...

The rest cheat in Europe.

Your dog's barking at the back door. Your spouse's barking at the front. Who do you let in?

Well, it's your call, but the dog'll stop barking when you let him in.

A reporter asked a man how he felt when he found out that he won the lottery.

“As soon I saw the numbers line up, I knew it was going to be wife changing!”