marriage jokes

A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.

"Thank you, honey," she says. "What would you like me to bring back for you?"

He laughs and says, "An Italian girl!"

When the conference is over, he meets her at the airport and asks, "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good," she replies.

"And what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" she asks.

"The one I asked for... an Italian girl!"

"Oh, that," she says. "Well, I did what I could. Now we have to wait nine months to see if it's a girl."

“Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing,” I said to my wife.

She said, “Wear your own then.”

"Madam, your husband must have absolute rest."

"Well, Doctor, he won't listen to me."

"A very good beginning, madam, a very good beginning."