marriage jokes

"Nice threads, man," commented Donald when his buddy showed up one day in a snappy new suit. "Where'd you pick 'em up?"

Richard beamed. "My wife got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?"

"I'll say. What was the occasion?"

"Got me," admitted Richard with a cheerful shrug. "I came home from work early the other day and there they were, hanging over the chair in the bedroom."

I’m 30 years older than my wife. When she was born I was thirty times older than she.

When I was 40 she was 10 making me four times older.

When she was 20 years old I was 50 making me only 2.5 times older.

Last year when we married, she was 30 and I was 60, making me twice her age.

I figure before long we’ll be the same age...

I just found out what a honeymooner's sandwich is!

It's "lettuce alone" with no bread.