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Favorite this joke While my parents were making their funeral arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. “You’ll have a beautiful view of the swan pond,” he assured them.
Dad wasn’t sold. Without missing a beat he told the salesman, “Unless you’re including a periscope with my casket, I don’t know how I’m going to enjoy that.”
Why did the farmer put GPS on his spice rack?
Because he couldn't keep track of the thyme.
I was making Play-doh animals with my four-year-old niece, Chris, and her three-year-old brother, Neil. While Chris was clearly molding a crude but recognizable dog, figuring what Neil was making was a bit more challenging.
"It's a cat," he told me, "but a truck ran over it."
Sometime later, Chris had made another simple animal shape, but Neil had a rather flat slab of dough on the table in front of him.
"What happened to this one?" I asked.
Neil shrugged and said simply, "Same truck."
The man selling two-dollar tickets at Monmouth Racetrack registered complete surprise when a horse stepped up to the window, and asked to bet on himself.
"What's the matter?" snorted the horse. "Are you astonished that I can talk?"
"Not at all," said the man. "I'm surprised that you think you can win."
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