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Favorite this joke A woman walks into a fabric shop and says, "May I have three yards of Satan, please? I'm making a dress for my sister."
"I believe you mean satin, ma'am," the shopkeeper replies. "Satan is something that looks like the devil."
"Oh, then you've seen my sister!"
My new girlfriend told me I'm terrible in bed.
I told her it's unfair to make a judgement in less than a minute.
You know you've reached middle age...
When you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
Dear Customer Service,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
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