Best Jokes

Tom to his mom: "Mom, please tell me a story?"

Mom: "Sorry, honey, I don't have any new stories to tell. But you should ask your dad why he was late coming home today. He will then tell you some amazing stories."

A man working with an electric saw accidentally cuts off all of his fingers. At the emergency room, his doctor says, "Give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."

The injured man replies, "But I don't have the fingers!"

"Why didn't you bring them?" the doctor asks.

The injured man responds, "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."

Me to the postman: This empty envelope must be from my sister Charlotte.

Postman: Now why would she send you an empty envelope?

Me: We had an argument, and she's not talking to me..