My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes.
I asked her, "What should I do to stop my addiction?"
She said, "Hey, whatever means necessary."
"No, no it doesn't," I said.
My girlfriend gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.
So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she’s sangria then ever!
Text message from husband to his wife:
A very nice Highway Patrol officer asked me if I was drinking.
I jokingly replied, "That depends, are you buying?"
Tough crowd. Please send bail money.
Woman: "Do you have a greeting card which reads 'You are my first and last love'?"
Store keeper: "Yes ma'am, we do."
Woman: "Perfect! Give me 10 such cards!"