Best Jokes

My girlfriend gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine.

So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she’s sangria then ever!

Text message from husband to his wife:

A very nice Highway Patrol officer asked me if I was drinking.

I jokingly replied, "That depends, are you buying?"

Tough crowd. Please send bail money.

Woman: "Do you have a greeting card which reads 'You are my first and last love'?"

Store keeper: "Yes ma'am, we do."

Woman: "Perfect! Give me 10 such cards!"

Woman customer in restaurant: "I'd like a margarita please."

Waiter: "I'll need to see your ID."

Customer (giggling while showing her ID): "You think I look like a teenager?"

Waiter: "No. I thought you qualified for our senior citizen discount."