Best Jokes

At the airport for his 9-year-old son's first big trip by himself, after checking in on the phone with Grandma and Grandpa.

Dad - "So what did Grandma say on the phone?"

Son - "She said I love you, can't wait to see you, we're going to have so much fun...and...uh...something about 'We will rot you?'"

Dad - "Do you mean 'spoil you?'"

Son - "Yes! That's the word. I couldn't find it in my brain."

Just reading that there's a small Island off the coast of Italy with 5 million Sicilian people.

That's the biggest number I've ever heard.

Madame Gloria: "Alfred, why didn't you water the garden yesterday?"

Alfred the butler: "It was raining, madam."

Madame Gloria: "Well, that's hardly an excuse, couldn't you have taken an umbrella?"

Husband: “I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find it.”

Translation: “I looked in one spot and gave up because I’m lost without you.”