Best Jokes

A man goes into a restaurant and orders a cup of coffee. After the waiter brings it to him, the man pours the coffee into the vase on the table, and eats the cup and saucer, except for the handle, which he places on the table. He then orders another cup of coffee; after the waiter brings to to him, he pours out the coffee again, eats the cup and saucer and places the handle on the table again. He does this several times until there's a large pile of coffee cup handles on the table.

As the man finishes eating another coffee cup, he notices the waiter looking at him quizzically. "Why, you must think I'm crazy!" he says.

"Not at all, sir," the waiter replies. "I only wonder why you keep throwing the handle away; it's the best part."

Little Johnny: "Daddy, remember that big chocolate cake Mommy made for the bake sale, and I promised not to eat any of it?"

Dad: "Yes, son."

Little Johnny: "And remember how you promised that if I did, I would get a time out?"

Dad: "Yes, son."

Little Johnny: "Well, now that I've broken my promise, it's probably only fair that you break yours too."

After a diner had finished his meal at a restaurant, the waiter brought him the bill, which read,

Omelete: $2.00

Tea: $.50

Take this back," the diner said, "And rewrite it as omelette with two T's." The waiter obliges, as he takes the bill and leaves. A few moments later, he returns with a new bill, reading:

Omelete: $2.00

2 teas: $1.00