''I’m getting a divorce,'' said Jack to his mate, Bill. ‘The wife hasn’t spoken with me for six months.''
Bill thought for a moment and then replied,’ Just make sure you know what you’re doing, Jack. Wives like that are hard to find''
I know it's just a diet, but my body thinks it's famine.
Q: Under law, what is the maximum penalty for bigamy?
A: Two mothers-in-law.
Poor old Bob sent his photograph off to a Lonely Hearts Club. They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely