Best Jokes

I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again.

I didn't get pulled over or anything...

I just showed up to work 20 minutes early.

I said to my doctor, "I'm having serious problems with my memory."

He said, "Give me an example."

I said, "The other day I spent two hours in a multi-story car park trying to remember where I'd parked my car."

He laughed and said, "That's nothing to worry about, we've all done that."

I said, "But I don't own a car."