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Favorite this joke Two hikers are walking up a mountain trail when a huge grizzly bear leaps out in front of them and roars. The first hiker gulps and sweats, frozen in fear; the other keeps his presence of mind and calmly advises, "Don't worry, just lie down and play dead and the bear will leave you alone."
"H-h-h-how do you know?" the first hiker asks.
"I read it in a book on wilderness survival."
"B-b-but what if the bear read the same book?"
I was reading the parable of the Good Shepherd to my little girl for her bedtime story. I got to the part about the Good Shepherd counting the 99 sheep, expecting to have 100, and getting ready to go out to find that one lost sheep.
Great bedtime story, great message about a father's infinite love, right?
Then my daughter asks, "Daddy, he was counting sheep, right? When he was counting those ninety-nine sheep, why didn't he fall asleep when he got to around number 20?"
A homeowner leans over his fence, holding a football, and shouts to two small boys on the other side of the street, "Is this your ball?"
"Did it hit anything, mister?" one of the boys asks.
"No."
"Then it's ours."
My friend bought a bus pass to a nude beach.
It turned out to be a ticket to no wear.
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