Best Jokes

During dinner, Little Johnny's mother catches him feeding the dog under the table. "Johnny," she says sternly. "You know very well that you're not supposed to feed the dog at the table!"

"I'm sorry, Mom." Johnny replies.

"All is well," his mother replies. "Now, do you know why we have that rule in the house?"

Johnny muses for a moment, then replies, "I guess it's 'cause if the dog doesn't like the food I give him, the food'll get left on the floor and eventually rot."

Principal: "Billy, is it true that you called the teacher a big meanie?"

Billy: "Yes I did."

Principal: "And did you call her a wicked old witch?"

Billy: "Yes I did."

Principal: "And did you call her a wicked old witch?"

Billy: "No, but I'll remember that for next time!"

At the airport for his 9-year-old son's first big trip by himself, after checking in on the phone with Grandma and Grandpa.

Dad - "So what did Grandma say on the phone?"

Son - "She said I love you, can't wait to see you, we're going to have so much fun...and...uh...something about 'We will rot you?'"

Dad - "Do you mean 'spoil you?'"

Son - "Yes! That's the word. I couldn't find it in my brain."