How do you know if you have inner beauty?
Just ask a radiologist.
Mom: Son, why don’t you talk to Mark anymore? You used to be best friends.
Son: Well would you talk to someone who is stupid, uses drugs, and is an alcoholic?
Mom: Of course not.
Son: Well, neither would he.
A sailor was swallowed by a whale and lived to tell the tale.
When asked by a reporter what the scariest part was he answered, "The graffiti... someone wrote 'Pinocchio was here.'"
When I was 20, "What am I doing here?" was an important existential question.
Now that I am 66, "What am I doing here?" involves staring at an open refrigerator.