Best Jokes

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Tracy, the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."

"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked Dewey, the new husband.

"Toast and juice," Tracy replied.

Teacher: Joey, how do you spell 'crocodile'?
Joey: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
Joey: Maybe it is wrong, but you did ask me how I spelled it."

Joe: "I've heard about your wit."

Moe: "Oh, that's nothing."

Joe: "Yeah, that's what I've heard."

The Pastor began his sermon with a question to the congregation. "Does anyone know the difference between sins of commission and sins of omission?"

After a few moments of silence a young man spoke up and said, "Sins of commission are things that we have done that were sinful. Sins of omission are sins we should have done but just haven't got around to yet."