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What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

"Thank you, I'll just have a slither."

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CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "RS" |
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"Hey, man! Please call me a taxi."
"You got it! (Pause) Sir, YOU are a taxi!"

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posted by "Funny joker" |
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The teacher asked her student to write on the chalkboard the number 55. The student asked, "How do I do that?"
Teacher replied, "Write down the number 5, and beside it add another 5."
The student wrote one 5 and stopped. The teacher inquired, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know which side to write the other 5?" 

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posted by "Funny joker" |
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The official glossary to running late...

"On the way..." - Still in bed.

"In the car..." - In the shower.

"GPS says 35 min..." - Getting ready.

"There's traffic..." - Leaving the house.

"Parking now..." - 15 minutes out.

"Can't find a spot..." - 5 minutes out.

"Walking in..." - Looking for a spot.

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Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "HENNE" |