Best Jokes

Why was a new born puppy mad at his mother?

He felt that she gave him a licking for no reason.

Father to his daughter: “Your date's mother called and said you pepper sprayed her son. I just gave you that pepper spray, what happened?”

Daughter: “Well, we were having dinner and I was looking at the spray container and it said USE BY 6/25 and today is June 25th, I guess I panicked.”

Father: “That would be June 2025 dear.”

Daughter: “Oh.”

A teenage foreign exchange student knew the metric system as well as European colloquialism and slang but he wasn’t well versed with imperial measurement or the use of North American English.

When the exchange student wanted to know what a foot is, the boy that helped him only added to his confusion by saying. “I can give you a hand with that.”

I always feel nervous when I walk through a cornfield...

I keep thinking I'm being stalked.