Best Jokes

The other day I bought a new GPS for old angry people...

It tells other people where to go!

I dropped a bar of gold on my toe.

Au!

What is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

The feathers.

Because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

I asked the Lord to tell me, Why my house is such a mess
He asked if I'd been 'computering', And I had to answer 'yes.'

He told me to get off my butt, And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up... The smudges off my mouse.

I wiped and shined the topside. That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my good work. I didn't mean to 'click.'

But click, I did, and oops - I found a real absorbing site
That I got SO way into it - I was into it all night.

So nothing's changed except my mouse. It's as shiny as the sun.
I guess my house will stay a mess... While I sit here on my bum.