Best Jokes

A German tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my precious little dog who was drowning…

After he climbed out, he handed me the dog and said, “Here is ze dog, keep him warm and dry him off he vill be fine.”

I said, “Are you a vet?”

He replied, “Vet? I’m soaking!”

Lisa: "My son is a waiter."

Rose: "Oh, he works in the food industry?"

Lisa: "No, he always keeps us waiting."

Harry: "I've just discovered oil."

Harriet: "Oh, how wonderful, now we can afford a new car! Now, where did you find it?"

Harry: "Leaking from our old car."

During a terrible snowstorm a St. Bernard was sent out with his usual keg of brandy to find a lost hiker.

Two hours later, the dog came back to the rescue center with his little barrel empty and a note tucked under his collar.

Curious, the chief took the note, revealing it to say, "Enjoyed the brandy. Next time, please send a double!"