Best Jokes

During a terrible snowstorm a St. Bernard was sent out with his usual keg of brandy to find a lost hiker.

Two hours later, the dog came back to the rescue center with his little barrel empty and a note tucked under his collar.

Curious, the chief took the note, revealing it to say, "Enjoyed the brandy. Next time, please send a double!"

The day after I had surgery on my leg, a nurse came into my hospital room with a box in her hand. “Are you ready for this?”

“What is it?” I asked.

“Fleet enema. Didn’t your doctor tell you about it?”

“No.”

She rechecked the orders. “Whoa!” she bellowed. “That didn’t say Fleet enema. It said feet elevated!”

As I walked into work my boss greeted me with, "Today is going to be a great day! Can't you feel it?"

I did.

I went home.

I started carrying a moist towelette in my wallet instead of a condom.

I run into chicken wings more often than I do sex.