Two bunnies are running from a fox. They hide behind a bale of hay one turns to the other and says, "Should we keep running, or stay here and out number the fox?"
A woman offers a brand-new car for sale for a price of ten dollars.
A man answers the ad, but he's slightly disbelieving. "What's the catch?" he inquires.
"No catch," the woman answers. "My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and the money go to his secretary."
Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself.
Life is like a fountain... I will tell you how when I figure it out.
Make a firm decision now... you can always change it later.
Male zebras have white stripes... but female zebras have black stripes.
Money DOES talk... but to me it says goodbye.
Patient to psychiatrist: "I have this fear of being in tight, enclosed places."
Psychiatrist: "That's a very common disorder. Lots of people have the same problem."
Patient: "It's a little bit more complicated than that. I have an abnormal fear of being in an elevator with a bunch of department store Santa's."
Psychiatrist: "Take a couple of these pills and call me in the morning. You have an acute case of CLAUStrophopia."