Best Jokes

Lisa: "My son is a waiter."

Rose: "Oh, he works in the food industry?"

Lisa: "No, he always keeps us waiting."

Harry: "I've just discovered oil."

Harriet: "Oh, how wonderful, now we can afford a new car! Now, where did you find it?"

Harry: "Leaking from our old car."

During a terrible snowstorm a St. Bernard was sent out with his usual keg of brandy to find a lost hiker.

Two hours later, the dog came back to the rescue center with his little barrel empty and a note tucked under his collar.

Curious, the chief took the note, revealing it to say, "Enjoyed the brandy. Next time, please send a double!"

The day after I had surgery on my leg, a nurse came into my hospital room with a box in her hand. “Are you ready for this?”

“What is it?” I asked.

“Fleet enema. Didn’t your doctor tell you about it?”

“No.”

She rechecked the orders. “Whoa!” she bellowed. “That didn’t say Fleet enema. It said feet elevated!”