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Favorite this joke In my job with a delivery company, I was getting directions to a customer's home.
The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the center of town go two lights. Look for the post office. Turn left onto the next street. Go 1.3 miles. Drive past a red hydrant and then take the next right. Go 50 yards. My driveway is the second on the right, and the number is on the mailbox."
As I entered the information into the computer, I asked, "What color is your house?"
The woman paused a second, then said, "Hold on. I'll go check."
Principal: "Now Tyler, why weren't you in class today? I want an explanation, and I want the truth."
Tyler: "Well, which would you rather have?"
During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!"
"The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other end coolly explained. "I believe you are complaining about your room number."
Neighbor: "How old is your father?"
Boy: "As old as me."
Neighbor: "How can that be?"
Boy: "He became a father when I was born."
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