Best Jokes

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Do you mean a martini?”

The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it.”

While taking the garbage out the other day, I lifted up a pretty heavy bag of trash and threw my back out.

I had to drive all the way to the dump to retrieve it.

Whenever you think you would like to go back to your teenage years... think of Algebra!

The wife was telling me I need more exercise. I told her, "Well, I'll take up sports then."

She laughed and said, "Why don't you just order the sports channel on cable? Shaking your fist at the TV and yelling at the games is more exercise than you'll get actually playing them."