Best Jokes

Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, young Becky said unhappily, “Mom, do you realize some poor, dumb beast suffered so you could have that?”

The women shot her an angry look. “Becky, how dare you talk about your father like that!”

We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids...

It’s SPF 80...

That means you squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.

One day in the army I was assigned KP duty. I reported to the Mess Hall and was told by the sergeant in charge that he wanted me to make 100 gallons of soup for tonight's dinner. I told him I didn't know how to make soup. He quickly handed me a book and told me to follow the directions carefully.

Soon after I had a large kettle of soup simmering. The sergeant came up and tasted the soup. He took a second spoonful and stood there staring at me. I thought I had really messed up the soup and was waiting for a reprimand.

Instead the sergeant said, "This tastes really good... are you sure you followed the recipe?"

Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence... a LIFE sentence!