Best Jokes

I called into my crappy job last week and said that I was sick.

My boss asked me what was wrong, and I said that I had something wrong with my eyes.

When asked to elaborate, I said that I couldn't see myself coming into work today.

"I heard you have been to Spain recently. Knowing you don't speak Spanish very well, did you face any difficulty?"

"None at all, however those who listened to me sure did."

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.

8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.