What do you get when you have a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile!
What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?
Talonted!
"Come on now, a child of five could understand this!"
"I'll tell you what, why don't you go fetch me a child of five!"
Pavlov is sitting in a bar and the phone begins to ring.
He jumps up and shouts, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dogs!"