Best Jokes

Irony- getting CPR from someone with bad breath!

The one that is trying to make you breathe, is the same one that is taking your breath away.

For our 10th anniversary my wife and I vacationed in Hawaii, where we went snorkeling. After an hour in the water everyone got back on the boat, except for one beautiful young woman and me.

As I continued my underwater exploring, I noticed that everywhere I swam, she swam. I snorkeled for another 20 minutes. So did she. I climbed back in the boat. So did she. I felt very flattered and, as I took off my fins, asked her why she had stayed in the water for so long.

"I'm the lifeguard," she replied matter-of-factly. "I couldn't get out until you did."

The real reason "Man" is the highest form of intelligence... is because Man does the classifying.

I met a Russian Dentist and his name was Anesthesia.

I thought this could be love.

Sadly, I felt nothing.