Best Jokes
Favorite this joke "Hi."
"Hi."
"Did you eat?"
"Did you eat?"
"Are you copying me?"
"Are you copying me?"
"I love you!"
"Yea, I ate already."
Two muffins are sitting in an oven.
First one says, “Boy, it’s hot in here.”
Second one says, “What the heck, a talking muffin!”
In court, the judge asked the accused, "Did you take Mr. Fred's wallet?"
The accused replied, "Yes, yes I did. I didn't want him to shoot himself."
Confused by the reply, the judge asks, "Why do you think he'd shoot himself with his wallet?"
"Because it was loaded, your honor."
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the Summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal.
While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon a construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, "Johnson, the pole vault," and was admitted.
The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, "McTavish, the hammer." He was also admitted.
The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."
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