Best Jokes

Because I had forgotten the dates for a number of my friends and relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, I decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on.

I went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do the job, but had no luck at the first few. I finally found one where the clerk seemed experienced.

"Can you recommend something that will remind me of birthdays and anniversaries?" I asked.

"Have you tried a wife?" he replied.

The boss asked Mark to start the presentation with a joke.

He shared his paycheck as the first slide.

I've cut down on my drinking. I now have one large whiskey before I go to bed…

Last night, I went to bed six times!

I saw a bloke walking along carrying a door handle. I asked him why he had it.

He said, "Well, it gets me out of the house."