Best Jokes
Favorite this joke From my auto mechanic:
"That part is much less expensive than I thought."
"I've never seen anyone maintain their car as well as you do."
"You could get that done more cheaply at the garage down the street."
"It was just a loose wire. No charge."
From my son's preschool teacher:
"Everyone misbehaved today except Michael."
"Michael traded his candy bar for carrot sticks."
"I wish we had 20 Michaels."
The boss is finally old enough to retire from the company. On his last day of work, he ordered a farewell party for himself. The boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card, so later he could remember how his staff would "miss" him. Most people are writing standard phrases like, Without you, the company will never be the same... We will always remember you... etc.
Obviously the boss was not satisfied. "I need something from the bottom of your heart, something really touching, you know. Okay, John, you have been working with me for the last 20 years. You are my best staff. I am retiring now. What do you have to say?"
Slowly but firmly, John wrote, "The best news in 20 years!"
After five long years, I’ve come up with the best clock joke ever…
…it’s about time!
Two people got into an argument.
One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will be doing is making an ash of yourself!"
The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from fossilized bones, so if you have yourself buried all you will be doing is making a fuel of yourself!"
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