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Favorite this joke A duck walks into a convenience store. He asks the man at the counter, "You got any grapes?" Guy at the counter says, "No, we don't have any grapes." Duck says "okay" and he leaves.
The next day the duck comes back in and says, "You got any grapes?" The man once again replies, "No! We do not have any grapes." The duck says "okay" and he leaves.
The third day the duck walks in again and asks, "You got any grapes?" The man is very annoyed and says, "No! For the last time, we do NOT have any grapes. If you come in here again and ask for grapes, I'm gonna nail your bill to the floor!" The duck replies "okay" and leaves.
The fourth day the duck returns once again and asks, "You got any nails?" The man at the counter says "No." The duck says, "Well then, you got any grapes?"
We recently surveyed 100 women, asking them the question, "How old are you?"
The #1 most popular answer was, "How old do you think I look?"
A farmers wife is cooking. She says "I need a cup of molasses, but I ran out."
Farmers runs outside and returns with two dead moles.
Wife says, "I said a cup of molasses, not a couple of mole asses!"
Toy Disclaimers you have probably never noticed...
1. Warning: This fad will disappear in 6 weeks.
2. Caution: Care Bears do not actually care very much.
3. Warning: This toy produces substantially less childish glee in real life than it does in the TV commercial.
4. No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.
5. Some dismemberment may occur.
6. In case of breakage, scream until Dad buys a replacement.
7. Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously.
8. Use as an actual terrorist device not recommended.
9. Do not attempt to combine your Ultra Mega Warrior with your cat to make Ultra Mega Cat Warrior.
10. Some assimilation required. Resistance is futile.
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