Best Jokes

A husband had been away for a few months and had a romantic evening planned for he and his wife. He sent the two older kids to the movies but could not persuade the youngest boy to go along.

Finally he makes a deal with the boy. If the boy will go sit on the curb in front of their house, the father will give the boy 5 bucks for every man he sees go by in a red hat.

A while later the little boy comes running into the house and bangs on the bedroom door and shouts: "Dad, if you think you're getting screwed in there, you'd better come outside, 'cause there's a Shriner's convention going past."

Father to his son:

Do you know why I call your mother my Death Star?

Because she makes my world explode!

@dadjokehansolo

Teacher: "Which is the best month to study?"

Student: "Octembruary."

Teacher: "Don't be silly. There's no month like that."

Student: "Exactly...."

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin: “For best results, put on two coats”.