At school one morning the teacher asked little Johnny what he had for breakfast.
Little Johnny said, well, on my way to school I come cross this Apple tree, so I climbed up there and started eating apples.
I guess I eat about six, said little Johnny.
No, said the teacher, it’s ate! Little Johnny said well it could've been eight I don't remember.
It was the toughest experience of my life.
First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis.
Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy.
These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. I completely lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.
Realizing that perhaps I might do better with another doctor, I made an appointment at new medical office. The receptionist had me fill out forms that included my medical history.
I don't know how I pulled through it. It was the hardest spelling test I've ever had.
I'm so hungry that I could eat a TV dinner right about now.
The problem is, my TV is bigger than my microwave!
A night watchman is a man who earns his living without doing a day's work.