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Favorite this joke Pavlov is sitting in a bar and the phone begins to ring.
He jumps up and shouts, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dogs!"
Joe and I were in the Men's Room when Joe happened to notice a dime at the bottom of one of the toilets. He promptly took out a silver dollar and tossed it into the same toilet, then reached in and fetched both coins.
"Why on earth did you do that?" I asked him.
Joe drawled,"I ain't stickin' my hand in the toilet for no dime!"
Irony- getting CPR from someone with bad breath!
The one that is trying to make you breathe, is the same one that is taking your breath away.
For our 10th anniversary my wife and I vacationed in Hawaii, where we went snorkeling. After an hour in the water everyone got back on the boat, except for one beautiful young woman and me.
As I continued my underwater exploring, I noticed that everywhere I swam, she swam. I snorkeled for another 20 minutes. So did she. I climbed back in the boat. So did she. I felt very flattered and, as I took off my fins, asked her why she had stayed in the water for so long.
"I'm the lifeguard," she replied matter-of-factly. "I couldn't get out until you did."
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