Best Jokes

A man was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring his reflection, when he posed the following question to his wife of 20 years, “Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?”

She answered, “Of course I will. I've already been doing it for the past 5 years haven't I?”

Q: How do you make a goldfish old?

A: Take away the g!

Once there was a Spanish speaking magician who promised a vanishing act. So he says, "I will count to 3 and I will disappear!"

"Uno! Dos!" and then POOF! With a puff of smoke he was gone, without even a Tres!

"Darling," said the young man to his new bride. "Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my modest income?"

"Of course, dearest, no trouble," she answered. "But what will you live on?"