Best Jokes

Yesterday was "Take Your Daughters and Sons to Work Day"...

Which basically means today is "Stay Late At Work To Catch Up On All The Things You Couldn't Get Done Because Your Kid Was Bothering You In The Office Day"!

New research found that pigeons can actually be taught to read and write.

Once the researchers finished teaching the pigeon, the first thing it wrote was, “Get a life, man.”

Ever wonder why there is an expiration date on sour cream?

Preparing for the most important presentation of his life, a sales rep went to a psychiatrist. "I'll implant a hypnotic suggestion in your mind," said the shrink. "Just say 'one-two-three,' and you'll give the presentation of your life. However, do not say 'one-two-three-four,' because it will cause you to freeze up and make a fool of yourself."

The sales rep was ecstatic. He tried it at home and gave a fabulous presentation. He tried it at work with his co-workers, and got a standing ovation. Then came the big day. Everything was set up in the boardroom and the CEO signaled him to start. The sales rep whispered under his breath, "One-two-three."

Then the CEO asked, "What did you say 'one-two-three' for?"