Very early one morning two birds are sitting at the side of a large puddle of oil. They see a worm on the other side. One bird flies over and the other one swims through the puddle.
Which one gets to the worm first?
The one who swam, of course, because, "da oily boid gets da woim."
So, how do you get down off this elephant?
You don't. You get down off a goose.
Q: What do we have in December that we don't have in any other month?
A: The letter "D"!
Two Aussie men are standing at the top of a cliff. One has two budgies (a small parrot native to Australia), one on each shoulder. The other has a parrot and a shotgun.
The first guy jumps off the cliff and on the way down the birds fly away. He crashes on the rocks below and rolls over on his back. He looks up just in time to see his friend jump off too.
As the second guy falls the & parrot flies off, he pulls up his shot gun and shoots the bird just before he too crashes onto the rocks.
They lie there groaning in agony for a bit before the first guy says, “I really don’t see what is supposed to be so great about budgie jumping!”
The second guy lets out a groan and says, “I’m really not too impressed with free-fall parrot shooting either!”