Best Jokes

1 votes

At Cambridge University, a bright young student showed up for the exam and asked the proctor to bring him cakes and ale.

Proctor: I beg your pardon?
Student: Sir, I request that you bring me cakes and ale.
Proctor: Sorry, no.
Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me cakes and ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred-year-old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section that read (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting in examinations may request and require cakes and ale."

Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily eating and slurping away.

Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

1 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

John was dozing against a tree with his fishing rod in the water. His friend came by and looked at the line. “You don’t have any bait on the hook,” he said.

“It’s too much trouble to clean the fish if I caught one,” replied John.

His friend said, “John, you are the laziest man I know. What you need is a wife and a family.”

John opened his eyes and said, “Do you know where I can find a pregnant woman?”

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
1 votes

After a preacher died and went to heaven, he noticed that a New York cab driver had been awarded a higher place than he. “I don't understand,” he inquired to Saint Peter. “I devoted my entire life to my congregation.”

“Our policy here in Heaven is to reward results,” Saint Peter explained. “Now, was your congregation well attuned to you whenever you gave a sermon?”

“Well,” the minister had to admit, “sure, some in the congregation fell asleep from time to time.”

“Exactly!” said Saint Peter. “When people rode in this man's taxi, they not only stayed awake, they even prayed!”

1 votes

posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
1 votes

Professor: And now, Mr. Jones, what do you know about French syntax?

Student: I didn't know they had to pay any.

1 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |