Best Jokes

A young couple got married and went on a cruise for their honeymoon.
When they got back home the bride immediately called her mom,
who lived three hours away.

"Well, darling," said her Mom, "How was your honeymoon?"

"It was wonderful, and so romantic. We had a great time," began the bride,
"but as soon as we got home he started using really horrible language. Words
I have never heard before. Really horrible four-letter words!
You've got to come get me...PLEASE."
Then the bride began to sob over the phone and begged, "PLEASE mom, come get me!"

"But honey what did he say, what 4-letter words, you have to tell me what's troubling
you," said her mom.

Still sobbing the bride said to her mother..."Words like....DUST, IRON, COOK, WASH!"

I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it... it was a shih-tzu.

What do you call a cow that had a baby?

Decaffeinated!

When a guy's printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told the guy he might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job himself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

"Actually, it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."