Best Jokes

For our 10th anniversary my wife and I vacationed in Hawaii, where we went snorkeling. After an hour in the water everyone got back on the boat, except for one beautiful young woman and me.

As I continued my underwater exploring, I noticed that everywhere I swam, she swam. I snorkeled for another 20 minutes. So did she. I climbed back in the boat. So did she. I felt very flattered and, as I took off my fins, asked her why she had stayed in the water for so long.

"I'm the lifeguard," she replied matter-of-factly. "I couldn't get out until you did."

The real reason "Man" is the highest form of intelligence... is because Man does the classifying.

I met a Russian Dentist and his name was Anesthesia.

I thought this could be love.

Sadly, I felt nothing.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Do you mean a martini?”

The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it.”