A teenager invited his girlfriend over to Sunday dinner to meet his parents for the first time. He warned her that his mother can be strong willed and very critical of his friends.
She replied, "Don’t worry, I can hold my own. I’ll nicely put her in her place if need be."
After dinner the teen asked his girlfriend why she hadn’t stood up to his mother. She answered by saying, "I’m not worried about her, it’s the horde of flying monkeys that must be waiting outside that bothers me."
President: I can't sign this bill, it's completely absurd. If I turn this into law it will raise taxes by 5 percent and extend the work week to six days instead of five.
Congress: Please note Mr. President on page 5027, under subsection 22, clause B, it exempts all members of the executive and the judicial branches as well as congress for life. Plus we all get a 50 percent raise and enhanced retirement benefits.
President: Perfect, got a pen?